May 18 2012 01:38 PM
I have been urinary incontinent since I was 18,i am 30 now with 2 wonderful children.But when it comes to potty training it was hard because my now 7 year old wore diapers until he was 5 and used the excuse daddy wears them.I have tried to hide it but in the household its impossible.I do hide it from the public but my 7 year old has opened up a topic in school(dad in diapers)and some of the students are friends of mine children and being in a small town word gets out.One comment has been made to my wife "now u have 2 in diapers. how do we cope with that
Men's discussion
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dependme Member since: 3/31/09 |
having kids |
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EARL H Member since: 3/30/09 |
RE: having kids
May 18 2012 02:24 PM Hello, Coming from a "small town" too I know exactly how the "town talk" can be. My own diapering needs have went through this and in the end I let this go in one ear and out the other. For a few "nosey know it alls" I point blank put it that unless they want to pay my bills or buy my diapers that its under no exception none of their affair and to keep their opinions to themselves. If you happen to encounter a rare busy body that won't take the hint , like I did too, the alternate response is here but reserved as the last resort. "Unless you want to find yourself on the receiving end of a harrassment law suit I advise you to stop this line of communication" In short, Back off before the local law backs you off. All The Best, Earl H. |
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feralfreak Member since: 5/27/09 |
RE: having kids
May 19 2012 03:00 AM for the kid who talks about it, he or she needs to be told some boundries, what is and is NOT acceptable for discussion in public, and what should ONLY be mentioned in the house, and as for the ones outside the house talking about it, i think something like this would be good: "hey, i have a medical problem, im dealing with it, so shut the *%*^ up, just try talking about it one more time, see if i dont get a lawyer and sue your %(+ for slander/libel, defamation of character, and intentional infliction of emotional distress, go on, try it, call my bluff, and let me give you a clue, i NEVER bluff" or: "you seem to like talking, and having teeth, wouldnt that be hard, with a busted jaw? knocked out teeth? broken ribs?*look blabbermouth in eyes* end transmission" |
 LynnK2104 Member since: 3/31/09 |
RE: having kids
May 19 2012 03:38 PM You could have said. "What do you mean, 2 In diapers" "No we don,t". When followed up with "I heard that your husband wears diapers too". You can always come back with. "Oh yeah, I guess I should have included him along with our toddler". That will shut the other person up! By this point, you know the word has gotten all over town with small town gossip and the damage is done. In a way, your son did you a favor by letting the diaper info about you out. Look at it this way, you no longer have to hide your incontinence and need for diapers. You can now buy them anywhere, tote them into the house without worry, or toss out garbage freely on trash day. One time we had a dog spread our trash across the alley to include used diapers everywhere. Luckily this stigma is going away fast. |
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Nick Member since: 3/31/09 |
RE: having kids
May 19 2012 11:20 PM You have my sympathy with regard to the problems of living in a small town. I grew up in one and was glad to leave behind the familiarity of everybody knowing everybody else's business. However, if you are going to stay there, the message that you need to get across to the busybodies is that you have a medical problem. Surely if people understand that, they will have some understanding and sympoath |
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Nick Member since: 3/31/09 |
RE: having kids
May 19 2012 11:23 PM You have my sympathy with regard to the problems of living in a small town. I grew up in one and was glad to leave behind the custom of everybody knowing everybody else's business. If you are going to stay there, the message that you need to get across to the busybodies is that you have a medical problem. I would think that, if people understand that, they will have some understanding and sympathy for your situation. You also need to get across the idea of what a medical condition is to your children. Good luck! |
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JaneF Member since: 11/17/10 |
Re: having kids
May 20 2012 09:42 AM Hi dependme, and welcome to the community. I agree with Nick on this one. Talking to your kids about what we can choose in our lives and what we can't, may help, even with the cat out of the proverbial bag. Even at seven an age appropriate vocabulary to describe your condition can serve to remove the joking quality of the conversation. Setting some boundaries on taboo topics may also be a useful lesson. Jane |
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Patrick Member since: 8/26/09 |
Re: having kids
May 21 2012 08:08 AM Still heavily sedated following urological surgery, I heard my wife explaining to our children why daddy has all these hoses, some with lots of blood, coming out of him, why he can't respond right now, and why he'll need assistance when he gets home. At home, concerned adults at school and in our neighborhood approached my wife and children with a blend of small-town curiosity, genuine concern, and the attraction of a new tidbit for gossip. For me, the cat was never in the bag; everybody knew I had been hospitalized for surgery; some knew why, and others thought they knew why, and invented what they didn't yet know. The choice to hang my laundered diapers out to dry has been my small act of rebellion. Each time somebody approaches me with the obvious discomfort of a conflict between the attraction of gossip and the demand for privacy, I have responded with what I hope is a constructive attack on the stigma. |
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Wesbedwtr Member since: 12/31/11 |
Re: having kids
Jun 16 2012 11:28 AM Ah yes,, small towns and wetting prolems. I remember well. Growing up as a bedwetter the whole community could follow my progress or lack of progress on my bedwetting by seeing if those dang diapers and plastic pants hung on the wash line every week. Even all through high school my shameful laundry made an appeaerance on the wash line and everyone knew it. Unfortuneately I was the 1 in a 100 bedwetters who never outgrew the night time wetting. Wes |
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LynnK2104 Member since: 3/31/09 |
Re: having kids
Jul 19 2012 10:43 PM As a kid I had similar experiences. Everyone knew I was in diapers also as my diapers crinkled when I moved. My parents were not sympathetic to my wetting and did little to mask or hide my lack of control. My mom used to say, "what are my friends going to think with you still wetting and wearing diapers?". It took them years to clue in that we are helpless and don't choose to wet our bed or pants. I know 24/7 diapers was the correct approach but their approach was flawed. My parents at least admitted they were wrong later on. Our daughter never spread the word as she had a weak bladder and also needed protection. |
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