Caregivers’ FAQ
Have some basic questions about incontinence or Depend® incontinence products? We've divided common questions from caregivers like you into five categories. Each is filled with answers you need.
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What is urinary incontinence – causes, types, facts?
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What is urinary incontinence?
AUrinary incontinence is the loss of bladder control. This means that you can't always control when you need to urinate. The good news is, it can be managed or even eliminated altogether.Start by getting the facts about urinary incontinence, the types you can do to help relieve your symptoms in our free Information Booklet. -
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What are the symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)?
ASymptoms of IBS include abdominal pain or cramping and changes in bowel function, including bloating, gas, diarrhea, constipation and fecal incontinence. If you have these symptoms and suspect you may have IBS, please speak to your doctor or medical provider.
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Q
How common is urinary incontinence (also called bladder leakage or overactive bladder)?
AMillions of adults in the United States have urinary incontinence or a milder form, sometimes called bladder weakness or overactive bladder (OAB), depending on the symptoms and causes. If you or a loved one is affected by urinary incontinence, you should know that you aren’t alone. Approximately 25 million people nationwide are affected.
It's most common in people over 50 years old. But it can also affect younger people, especially women who have given birth. Both men and women can have urinary incontinence.
Be sure to talk to your loved one’s doctor if he or she has this condition. If incontinence is hidden, he or she risks getting rashes, sores, skin infections and urinary tract infections. Also, they may find themselves avoiding friends and family because of fear and embarrassment.
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What causes urinary incontinence?
AThere are many causes of urinary incontinence. Some include weak bladder muscles, pregnancy, childbirth, hysterectomy, complications from surgery, stroke or chronic diseases like multiple sclerosis (MS) and Parkinson’s disease. Other diseases like diabetes that affect the bladder nerves or spinal cord could also cause urinary incontinence.
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How does the bladder work?
AThe human body stores urine in the bladder. During urination, muscles in the bladder tighten to move urine into the urethra—a tube below the bladder. At the same time, the muscles around the urethra relax and let the urine pass. Incontinence occurs if the urine leaves the bladder and urethra without warning.
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What are the different kinds of incontinence with the symptoms and potential causes?
AStress Incontinence- Loss of urine when pressure or ‘stress’ is placed on the bladder
- Leakage when sneezing, coughing, laughing, exercising, or lifting heavy items
- Causes may include: physical changes from childbirth, pregnancy, menopause, removal of the prostate gland, or being overweight
- Sudden, intense urge to urinate—often followed by involuntary loss of urine
- Sudden or frequent emptying of bladder; getting up two or more times per night to urinate.
- Causes may include: bladder or urinary tract infections, bladder irritants, stroke, neurological diseases such as Parkinson's or multiple sclerosis (MS)
- Frequent or constant dribble of urine
- Feeling your bladder is never empty; sometimes only a weak stream of urine
- Causes may include: damaged bladder, blocked urethra, diabetes
- Inability to reach bathroom in time
- Physical or psychological impairment where you cannot reach the bathroom in time
- Causes may include: mobility limitations, pain with movement, medications, arthritis
Want to learn more? Download a summary sheet with more symptoms and causes.
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Q
What's a "bathroom journal" and why should I keep one for my loved one?
AIn many cases, the bladder can be trained to empty at the appropriate time. One key re-training tool is a bathroom journal (also called a toileting diary). This journal answers a lot of questions about your loved one’s bladder health and patterns and creates a baseline picture of their bladder control you can share with his or her doctor.
Want to learn more? Download a sample bathroom journal to see what’s involved in keeping one.
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Q
What can I ask my loved one’s health care provider if I think he or she has urinary incontinence?
ATo diagnose urinary incontinence, their health care provider will ask about your loved one’s symptoms, medical history, and do a physical exam. You’ll also be asked about his or her bladder habits: how often his or her bladder empties, how and when he or she leaks urine, or has accidents. Keeping a bathroom journal (also called a “toileting diary”) with date, time, location, foods and beverages eaten, and other notes for approximately a week prior to your appointment would aid the conversation with the health care provider.
If you think your loved one may have urinary incontinence, tell his or her doctor. Remember, under a doctor’s care, incontinence can be treated and possibly cured. Even if treatment is not completely successful, careful management can help him or her feel more relaxed and confident.
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What’s bowel incontinence and what causes it?
ABowel incontinence is the inability to control your bowel movements, causing stool (feces) to leak unexpectedly from your rectum. Also called fecal incontinence, bowel incontinence ranges from an occasional leakage of stool while passing gas to a complete loss of bowel control.
Bowel incontinence affects more than five million Americans. Both men and women suffer from this condition, although it’s more common in women because of the injury to the anal muscles or nerves that can occur during childbirth. It becomes more common with advancing age as the muscles that control bowel movements (anal sphincter muscles) weaken.
Many people resort to altering their social and physical activities, even their employment, to cope with the condition. However, finding the right incontinence product can go a long way in boosting their confidence. We recommend DEPEND® Adjustable Underwear. It offers maximum absorbency, worry-free odor control and it’s designed to be changed two ways. Step in and out of it like regular underwear or open the side perforations for easy changing—even over pants and shoes. Four prefastened tabs help provide a snug, custom fit.
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How can I get my loved one to change his/her mind about wearing incontinence products?
ASimply tell them the truth. Stress that the condition isn't their fault. Tell them that absorbent underwear is a backup just in case they don't make it to the bathroom on time. It'll make both of your lives less stressful, because for as much as you want them to be able to use the bathroom correctly, they do too. Don't give them a choice by asking them whether or not they would like to wear them. Just incorporate it in their routine of getting dressed in the morning. Also, make sure to not refer to them as diapers or by their brand name, as this will have a negative connotation associated that your loved one may recognize.
Many caregivers will place absorbent underwear in the same dresser drawer where their loved one keeps their non-absorbent underwear. This way the loved one feels the normalcy of having his or her underwear kept in a dresser drawer.
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How do I care for someone with incontinence?
AA lot depends on their level of physical mobility and their mental state. You may be helping someone who’s in reasonably good physical shape and mental health but would appreciate some information and advice, or you may be caring for someone with a severe physical disability, someone with a mental disorder such as Dementia or Alzheimer’s, or someone with both mental and physical disabilities.
However, regardless of their physical mobility or mental state, here’s some strategies to follow that will go a long way in managing their incontinence and maintaining their dignity.
- Be prepared
When taking your loved one out, make sure he or she has gone to the bathroom before leaving the house. Be prepared by carrying extra absorbent products and wipes with you wherever you go. Pack them discreetly in your to-go duffle bag and keep an extra supply in the trunk of your car. - Know before they go
Check for the locations of public restrooms to make sure they're easily accessible. This might mean making a few phone calls before you arrive or doing a quick tour ahead of time. You'll want to make sure away-from-home facilities will accommodate your loved one comfortably and cleanly. Bring any concerns to the attention of the facility and they are more than likely to be accommodating. - Make it routine
Establishing daily and nightly routines is also a good idea. It enables your loved one to predict when he or she might need to go. Outside of the routines, DEPEND® Brand products can offer the reassurance your loved one needs to avoid accidents or leaks. - Manage the meds
If your loved one is taking medication that affect his or her incontinence, be sure you understand how to dispense it, how to store it, and how to manage any side-effects should they occur. - Take time for yourself
Outside of the day-in and day-out care, make sure you get time off on a regular basis, even if it's a few hours, one or two afternoons a week. Arrange to have home help for those times, and get out of the house. Go somewhere different—for a walk or to a movie-to give yourself a complete change of scenery. While you may need the time to run errands, don't let that take up all your free time. Get creative and persistent in recruiting trusted family members to help out wherever they can. - Stay healthy
Managing your good health, as well as that of your family member, is extremely important. Be sure to eat a balanced diet, get adequate rest, and exercise as regularly as you can. - Enlist team support
Finding support groups can be a tremendous help for caregivers. It's comforting to talk with others who understand what you're going through. They can offer helpful insights to cheer you on, or simply provide a sympathetic set of ears to hear you out. Join the DEPEND® Brand community board to share stories and advice with other caregivers like yourself. - Get coached
Knowing when to ask for help is key. Make sure you get the answers you need. If you don't know or understand something, don't be afraid to ask your healthcare professional.
As a caregiver, one of your jobs is keeping your loved one safe. For some general safety tips to help make your job easier, watch this video. - Be prepared
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Incontinence and Alzheimer’s Disease
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Do you have any tips to help me get through the initial period of taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s Disease?
AHere are some basic tips that will help you through the initial period.
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Learn to hover
Assist him or her when they need it. In other words, become a presence. Keep the discussions, reasoning, and details of what you’re doing to a minimum. Don’t ask if he or she needs help. Keep your voice low and noise to a minimum. -
Lay his or her clothes out and have grooming tools ready
Be mindful of his or her “dressing ritual” and maintain it. - Set the water temperature for him or her
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Work from behind him or her
Your presence is less obvious that way. The nature of this illness lessens his or her awareness of activities that aren’t taking place directly in front of them. -
Treat the use of incontinence products as part of the dressing routine
Speak in terms of ‘showering’, ‘getting freshened up’ and ‘preparing for bed.’ There’s no need to remind him or her of their difficulties. Additionally, they usually can’t remember your explanations from one event to the next one. -
Don’t ask for permission to use incontinence products
The decision to use these products is your choice, and the less you make of it, the better. -
Be organized
Have your tasks laid out ahead of time. Hurrying around looking for items only adds to their anxiety. The object is to work as efficiently and as competently as possible.
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Learn to hover
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Q
What can I do to make the bathroom more user-friendly?
A- Consider removing mirrors
Someone with Alzheimer’s has difficulty distinguishing what is a reflection and what is an extension of the room. Undressing with a mirror nearby may lead him or her to believe a crowd of people is watching him or her being stripped. If you have a medicine cabinet mirror which shows the body from the shoulders up, you’re fine. If you have a wall-to-wall mirror, remove it or plan to cover it. There’s an element of protection, security and privacy that happens when that mirror is gone. - Change the knobs on sinks and tubs to handles
The knobs give no clear indication of “on” of “off”. The result is water left running and water that can be scalding hot. Handles give you’re a loved one a chance to figure it all for a longer period of time. - Get rid of sliding glass doors in the bath
Install a shower rod, which is bolted to the walls, and buy a sturdy cotton duct curtain with metal grommets that can’t be torn through. - Purchase a lightweight hand-held shower nozzle with at least 7 feet of hose
Eventually, he or she will need a shower chair or bench and you’ll need to reach around without restrictions. - Simplify the environment
Remove bottles, makeup, pictures, etc. from the counter and wall space. Give your loved one as clean a surface with as little distraction as possible.
As a caregiver, one of your jobs is keeping your loved one safe. For some general safety tips to help make your job easier, watch this video. - Consider removing mirrors
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Living & Managing
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Q
What are the signs that my loved one should start wearing incontinence products?
ATypically a loved one should begin wearing incontinence products when you notice they can’t reach the toilet in time, can’t remember where the bathroom is located, can't remember what to do when they get to the bathroom, or if they confuse objects for the toilet, like a waste basket.
In addition to these physical signs, you might observe emotional signs such as anger, depression, reduced self-esteem and withdrawal from family and friends.
If multiple accidents keep occurring from any of these reasons, it may be time to use incontinence products, whether it’s an absorbent pad or absorbent underwear.
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How do I talk to my loved one about incontinence?
ANo one wants to be incontinent and this may be one of the most difficult discussions you have with a loved one. You may be the one who must start the conversation. It’s important to be patient, sympathetic and informed. At first your loved one may deny being incontinent and try to hide the fact. Stress the importance of honesty and willingness to seek help.
Plus, let them know that with help from their health care provider and making some simple health and lifestyle changes, their incontinence can be managed.
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How can I prevent and manage accidents?
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Work together to create the right environment
This will vary according to physical need. If your loved one can access the bathroom with a wheel chair or walking frame, ensure the route to the bathroom is unobstructed. They may also prefer clothing that is easy for you or them to remove, such as wide skirts and drawstring trousers. Keep a lidded bin in the bathroom or bedroom to dispose of used products. -
Make it routine
Establishing daily and nightly routines enables your loved one to predict when he or she might need to go. Outside of the routines, DEPEND® Brand products can offer the reassurance your loved one needs to avoid accidents or leaks. -
Be prepared
When taking your loved one out, make sure he or she has gone to the bathroom before leaving the house. Be prepared by carrying extra absorbent products and wipes with you wherever you go. Pack them discreetly in your to-go duffle bag and keep an extra supply in the trunk of your car. -
Be aware that some drinks have a diuretic effect
You don’t want to curb life’s little pleasures but be aware that caffeine, alcohol and carbonated drinks are diuretics, which will make them need to urinate more. -
Provide good incontinence protection
The right protection helps to minimize leaks and odors, helping to protect your loved one’s clothes, their living environment and their dignity. DEPEND® Brand offers many styles and products designed to fit your needs and lifestyle. We have a comprehensive range of size and absorbency levels. Use our product finder to find the most appropriate products for your needs.
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Work together to create the right environment
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Q
How do I help my loved one get a good night’s sleep?
APreparation is everything. Take these steps to prevent accidents from happening:
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Limit their fluid intake before bedtime
Try not to drinks liquids after 6 p.m. -
Avoid bladder-irritating foods and beverages
These include caffeine, alcohol, acidic foods (like tomatoes and citrus fruits) and drinks, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, hot spices and carbonated drinks. -
Have your loved one “double void” before bed
In other words, urinate twice right before bed. -
Use the right incontinence product
The right protection helps to minimize leaks and odors, helping to protect your loved one’s clothes, their living environment and their dignity. DEPEND® Brand offers many styles and products designed to fit your needs and lifestyle. We have a comprehensive range of size and absorbency levels. Use our product finder to find the most appropriate product for your needs.
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Limit their fluid intake before bedtime
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How can I control odors?
AThe best way to control odors is a combination of good hygiene, overall body cleanliness, staying properly hydrated, and using fresh, clean undergarments. Always dispose of products in an airtight container. When traveling or sharing a house with others, dispose of each incontinence garment in a plastic bag with a zip-style seal. Also consider having your loved one take urine-deodorizing tablets, such as vitamin C, or supplements made for this purpose. Urine odor can also be reduced by drinking apple, pear, cherry or other non-citrus juices. Finally, because sometimes people are not aware that an odor is present, find someone you trust to tell you honestly if there is any odor anywhere.
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Product FAQs
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Are DEPEND® Boost Inserts still available?
ADEPEND® no longer offers Boost Inserts. Instead, we recommend you try DEPEND® for Women Underwear or DEPEND® for Men Underwear. With a snug fit at the waist and protection where it is needed most, they offer a comfortable solution. For women, if an extra bit of protection is needed, try DEPEND® for Women in Maximum absorbency.
If you’re unsure which product is right for your loved one, the product selector on our Product page can help you decide – or if you’d like to speak to someone, try our Product page can help you decide – or if you’d like to speak to someone, try our Chat Online feature or call 1-877-413-3736.
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Are DEPEND® Belted Shields still available?
ADEPEND® no longer offers Belted Shields. Instead, we recommend you try DEPEND® for Women Underwear or DEPEND® for Men Underwear. Or for protection that’s easy to change on the go, our DEPEND® Adjustable Underwear may be right for your loved one – they feature side perforations to provide an adjustable fit and allow you to slip them off, underwear style, or change them without stepping out of your pants and shoes.
If you’re unsure which product is right for your loved one, the product selector on our Product page can help you decide – or if you’d like to speak to someone, try our Product page can help you decide – or if you’d like to speak to someone, try our Chat Online feature or call 1-877-413-3736.
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Which DEPEND® products should I use for IBS?
AFor mild IBS, try DEPEND® for Women Underwear or DEPEND® for Men Underwear, which will offer maximum protection in a pull-on style, just like regular underwear. For more pronounced IBS symptoms, DEPEND® Protection with Tabs offers maximum absorbency with side barriers to protect against leakage, and six EasyGrip™ Tabs for discreet, easy removal.
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Do you have specific products for Men and Women, or are they unisex?
AWe make both kinds of DEPEND® Brand products. Because men and women have different needs, we have designed some products specifically for each gender. We offer three types of "men-only" products—DEPEND® Guards for Men and DEPEND® for Men Underwear in Colors and DEPEND® for Men Underwear and two "women-only" products, DEPEND® for Women Underwear in Colors and DEPEND® For Women Underwear. Our DEPEND® Adjustable Underwear is for both men and women.
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Do any of your products have a fly in front?
ANo. None of our products have a fly in front in order to provide the best protection. However, we offer three products designed specifically for a man's body in order to provide protection where men need it most. These products are DEPEND® Guards for Men and DEPEND® for Men Underwear in Colors and DEPEND® for Men Underwear.
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Which product is most absorbent?
AWhile all DEPEND® Brand products use our patented ABSORB LOC® Core to absorb liquids and help keep you dry, products labeled "Maximum Absorbency" are our highest level of protection.
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How are DEPEND® Brand products made?
ADEPEND® Brand products have cotton-like outer covers that look and feel like underwear. Inside, there's a thin, absorbent pad made of super absorbent polymers (SAP) that draws wetness in, away from the skin. All are latex-free and contain no lotions or fragrances.
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How do you dispose of DEPEND® Brand products?
ADEPEND® Brand products were designed to be used once and then discarded in a trash bag or other waste container. Please do not flush. There are lots of ways you can discreetly dispose these products while you're on the go.
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Do you make an absorbent product for the pool?
ANo, unfortunately, we don't. However, you can get an effective swim brief for an adult that goes under a regular swimsuit from www.discoverytrekking.com.
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Can I buy DEPEND® Brand products directly from Kimberly Clark?
AUnfortunately, we don't sell DEPEND® Brand products directly to individual consumers. However, some retail store managers are willing to order products in case quantities for their customers. You may ask your store manager if he or she is will provide this service. You may also order online from several Internet retailers who will deliver DEPEND® Brand products right to your home. Click here to find retailers near you.
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How often should I change my DEPEND® Brand product?
AThat depends on you and the extent of your condition. However, DEPEND® Brand products use more super absorbent polymers (SAP) to ensure they can withstand multiple wettings of varying amounts. This means you don't have to change them as often as less-expensive, non-premium brands.
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Are DEPEND® Brand products washable?
ANo. DEPEND® Brand products are designed for single use only.
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What product do you recommend for bowel incontinence?
AWe recommend DEPEND® Adjustable Underwear. It offers maximum absorbency, worry-free odor control and it's designed to be changed two ways. Step in and out of it like regular underwear or open the side perforations for easy changing without having to remove pants and shoes. Four prefastened tabs help provide a snug, custom fit.
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Can I get samples of DEPEND® Brand products?
AYes. You can order free samples of DEPEND® Brand products online so you can find the best product for you and your needs. Click here to learn more about our free DEPEND® Sample Pack or call 1-866-641-7314 to speak to a helpful DEPEND® Brand representative.
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Where can I find more information on DEPEND® Brand products?
AThere are several ways you learn more about DEPEND® Brand products and ensure you stay "in the loop" on our latest products. These include:
- Explore our website, Depend.com, just like you're doing now
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Sign up for DEPEND® Connections
Our monthly e-newsletter that contains articles and advice for maintaining your lifestyle, the latest products and FAQs
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Join the conversation in the DEPEND® Community Boards
Comment on articles and share stories and advice with people just like you in these safe and monitored online forums.
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Support
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How do I find out about caregiving services in my community?
AContact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) to learn about caregiving services where you live. AAAs are usually listed in the city or county government sections of the telephone directory under “Aging” or “Health and Human Services.” The National Eldercare Locator, a service of the U.S. Administration on Aging, can also help you find your local AAA.
You might also want to consult with an eldercare specialist, a professional who specializes in aging-related issues. An eldercare specialist assists older adults and their family members by assessing their needs and identifying the best services and devices available to meet those needs. To find an eldercare specialist in your area, ask your doctor or local AAA.
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What’s a Flexible Spending Account and how can it help me?
AA Flexible Spending Account (FSA) is an optional benefit plan offered by many U.S. employers that allows you to set aside part of your pre-tax earnings to pay for qualifying healthcare expenses, including, but not limited to, DEPEND® Brand products.
The money you contribute to your flexible spending account is taken out of your paycheck before taxes are taken out. In effect, you lower your taxable income for tax savings. The “pretax funds” in your FSA allow you to pay for qualifying healthcare expenses that are not covered by your health plan, such as doctor visit co-pays, prescriptions, dental expenses, and more.
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DEPEND® Brand Community Guidelines Close
This site is for adults 17+ using Depend® Brand products for incontinence only. Promoting or advertising competitive products / services is not allowed.
In the spirit of good community, treat your fellow community members as you would want to be treated. Argumentative, non-constructive, hostile or personal attacks; or discriminatory comments about religion, race, politics or sexual preference are not allowed.
Profanity, as well as perverse, vulgar or pornographic language is not permitted in usernames, signature files, community posts and/or photographs. Likewise, refrain from posting material written purposely to offend or shock others. Photographs of people in Depend® or other brand absorbent products should not be posted.
Discussions promoting or instructions of activity including drug abuse, rape, incest, promiscuity, underage drinking, arson, physical violence, self harm, suicide, illegal activities or other emotional harm are strictly prohibited.
Review anything you post to ensure it is neither harmful nor misleading. False product claims are not permitted.
Do not post links to content outside of Depend.com. Users may, however, post links to content within Depend.com.
Impersonation of employees or agents of Kimberly-Clark Corporation is not permitted.
Posts should be written in the primary language of the community. For the Depend Community, this is English.
As is true for any message board, you should not post personally identifiable information such as last name, street or email address; or telephone number. Any posts which include personally identifiable information will be removed.

