Caring for others discussion

Jan 20 2010 12:11 AM

curious why you became a caregiver my mom is a nurse and recently had to fire one of there caregivers because she hated her job made it no secret and caused a lot of problems she works in nursing homes and this caregiver said some things to the residents I can't repeat what she said or kc will remove this post
Trish

Jan 20 2010 11:31 PM

My husband and I are caring for his mother who is 88 with alzheimers and recently diagnosed with colan cancer. She is receiving chemo and radiation therapy. She lives in another state and my husband and I have been making trips every other week for therapy. Her therapy has been changed to daily and my husband is there full time, I had to return to work. We have and aide three days a week for an hour a day only. She has been in depends for about three months now and the expense is getting out of control. We're buying a package every 4-5 days at a cost of $15.42/pk. I once brought a case of 80 from Costcos but now we need the adjustable ones and can't find a qyantity that large. I was wondering if we could buy them by the cas on line direct at a more affordable price.

Jan 22 2010 05:43 PM

My husband and I realized that as his folks were getting older, there were things that they could no longer do easily, so we moved to another state where we could afford a larger home to beable to take them in. Since then, my mother-in-law has been diagnosised with dementia and my father-in-law requires many trips to the doctors. My husband works full time and I was able to retire to care for his folks. I am able to be near my 90 year old dad, who is going much better than my in-laws in their 80s. It has been a challenge adjusting to each other in our living situations, and frustration learning to deal with someone with dementia, but, I have to draw on the strength and guidance of God and people who have been in this situation. My mother-in-law is dependent on depends and these coupons really help, thank you.

Mar 10 2010 02:05 PM

Why? Because I care, and am blessed to be able to. Here's how it happened: I became a caregiver first when Mom was diagnosed with cancer. Moved in with her and Dad for 3 months until she died. (We live in same town.) Moved Dad (86, who had dementia) to our house. That was 10+ years ago. Four years ago we moved my mother-in-law in with us. (She's 78 & was diagnosed in 2005 with Alz.) I continue to be the full time caregiver, with an aide who comes several times a week to help with bathing. Yes, I sometimes get pretty stressed, but I'm just thankful I am able to do this for them. I hope the time will never come that I'll have to resort to putting them in a nursing home. No, my husband and I do not get much help from siblings. If it was up them the parents would have gone to a nursing home long time ago. Praise the Lord, He has givin me strength to make a difference here! Dad probably won't be around much longer, but I'm so thankful I can be here for him.

May 27 2010 05:21 AM

We had have outside caregivers for my wife, but they kept saying that they could not do this or that. One even showed up 2 hours late and then wanted to leave early because she "had a party to go to," I found out when I called the providing agency about her being late and leaving early, that it was payday and the caregivers received a bonus check that morning.

It just became easier for me to be the caregiver for my wife. Even though I do not get payment and am having my own health issues now, I still do all the caregiving for her.

Jan 30 2011 11:44 PM

I became a primary caregiver in late 2005 when my mother suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Further testing found a brain aneurysm in such a rare location that we were forced to go to Atlanta for emergency surgery. She has been in an extended care facility since that time as she cannot be by herself & I have to work to keep my health insurance. My sister lives 3hr. away & helps out as often as she can. My brother who lives here in town may stop to see her once a week, but I'm not even sure about that. Hence being a primary caregiver has fallen on my shoulders. This has been such an emotional rollercoaster that I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Feb 13 2011 12:33 PM

Hello, Mike, and welcome to our community. Thank you for sharing your story and the suggestions you have for improving the Depend product you use.

I've passed along a copy of your post, but it would be very helpful to us if you could take a few minutes to talk to a Customer Service representatives either by calling 1-877-413-3736 or using the Chat Online link at the top of your Depend window. This is valuable to us because a representative in a one-on-one exchange can seek more detailed information about what you are experiencing and where the product needs to be stronger.

Thank you again for your post and your suggestion.

Jane

Nov 19 2011 10:14 AM

Its been long overdue to place this post.
Here in Hell Michigan I'm both caregiver and Depend a user.
My Mother is my pride and joy and there is no way on this green earth she'll ever set foot in a nursing home while I live and breathe. I live with her and work during the day while caring for her needs at the drop of a phone call if the need arises. In short I take care of the house and make sure Mom's wants and needs are taken care of with love and compassion while being a son and a companion.
My choice to remain is one of dedication to a greater reward than anyone can guess of neither financial or material in nature.
I know there are folks who might and folks who have asked "why are you living at home instead of in a place of your own"?
The short and sweet is simple. I've lived in my own place in New Jersey and when my grandmother was in need of care and my mother was burdened with this I returned home to Hell to relieve her of a piece of this weight which involved live in and more which we both shared and alternated with each other. After my grandmother went home to The Lord we both remained in the home which is a place of many memories and family history.
The cycle of caregiving has come around 360 and its my turn to be in the number 1 position. A word on the nuring home remark falls into play here.
My grandmother was placed in one which was a 30 mile round trip every day in her last 2 years on earth. It wasn't a pleasant place to be, in fact it was a hole outside of "Hell". There wasn't a opening in the facility here in town which is a reputable place. Reputable or not I'm dedicated to giving Mother her freedom and home surroundings at whatever cost.
There are a few modern technology items that any caregiver may want for piece of mind and are as follows:

A " Life Alert " or simular device to keep your loved one safe in case a need arises
A good line of contact with the neighbors on and around the home for security
A phone or cellphone in the home preprogramed with 911 and family at 1 touch dialing.
A barrier free and clutter free entrance and interior to keep things safe.

There are many more items for a safe caregiving environment but that is a topic for another post.
Keep them safe and keep them happy.
All The Best,
Earl H.

Apr 09 2012 03:10 PM

Didn't have a choice. My grandmother whom is in her late 70's caught pneumonia. After a 3 day stay in the hospital they released her. She has had many health issues in the past including a heart attack that damaged 1/3ed of her heart that they can not repair because the surgery is more of a risk then to leave her heart the way it is, Fibromyalgia, damaged lungs from many years of smoking... and so on and so forth. When she was released from the hospital they told me, your grandmother will not be the same. She needs help full time to get dressed and use the restroom, someone to clean her house, make meals, assist her to have a shower or sponge bath, someone to keep an eye on her meds and make sure she takes them as needed. Basically she needs 24/7 care and with my grandfather just beating cancer and still undergoing cancer screening and trying to get up and around on his own that left one person, Me. (aunts and uncles are one track minded people unless they can make $ they aren't interested in helping) due to the amount of care my grandparents both need, I have to admit that im finding it hard to keep up with the day to day needs of them and no longer have a job to assist with the $ needs of day to day living for them. Im new to care giving guess and starting to feel extremely stressed and overwhelmed as the bills and needs keep piling up and it seems things such as a simple shower i no longer have time for in my 18hour day.
Don't get me wrong i don't dislike this, Ive found ALOT of reward doing this, just to see my grandparents smile again... has been worth more then words can even express, and i wouldn't change things if i could.
To anyone out there that may be reading this and knows someone whom is a fulltime caregiver, simply offering to go grab the things from the grocery store or visiting them an doing up the dishes quick or simply spending time letting them know they have ppl to lean on to in times of need and they arent alone in this will mean so much.

May 13 2013 04:06 PM

I have been a caregiver for over 5 yrs now and my old profession (retired after 20+yrs) I was a Sergeant in a Maximum Security State Prison (MCI Cedar Junction) in Mass., and after leaving I still wanted to do something to keep busy and I have been taking care of my mom and I am a mom so it seemed like a good idea. I really love it, and if you don't you will not be good at this job. It is just like my old job if you hated it you are no good to staff or the clients or prisoners or your loved ones at home. The hours are crazy and you need lots of patience with caregiving since most of the elderly have problems they can't control (Dementia, Parkinson's, M.S. etc...). Please do not subject yourself or others if you are not happy with your job whether it is caregiving, working in a prison, or even waitressing in a small coffee shop. Your attitude does come through when you are unhappy with your full or almost full time job or even part time you will still have the bad attitude show through without even realizing it. None of us choose to get old, get horrible permanent diseases nor do we choose to just get old and lonely or have aches and pains or depression with our personal issues that are out of our control sometimes. Please be a caregiver because you care about people whether they are poor, mean, incontinent, afflicted with a permanent disease or just depressed about getting older or losing people around us as we age, or the many things associated with growing old. Please read a lot about the job before you take it and the pay is very low for us and big for our companies due to insurance and behind the scenes costs. The hours are flexible and we work holidays, afternoon, nights, and weekends. You may have to work on your birthday or have to cancel an appointment because someone could not make their shift so you have to stay. There is so much involved but it is so rewarding if you do love it, I would not change the clients with all the stress there are way more laughs and smiles than tears! Thanks for letting me share...